I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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