you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was a blind-side dick pic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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