i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
that is very illegal...i love you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
