how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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