2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
