Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
