awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize