so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
