He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
