I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
