no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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