You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
