dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
