I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
