Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
