Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I puked a lego.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
