that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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