I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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