Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
