I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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