When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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