I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
