tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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