so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
