my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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