I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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