we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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