so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
