I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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