Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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