I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize