if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
