you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
