doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
