it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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