We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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