ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
