Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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