A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize