Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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