don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
