If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
