Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
