He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
