Non-Jews are for practice
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
