just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize