I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
