farters have to be the big spoon...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Alive.
So much puke
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
