A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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