Say something about gay babies.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize