i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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