Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
