Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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