Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize