Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize