I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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